Bitchfest 2013 and the Panel Van of Death

As you may be able to tell from the title of this post, I was less than sunshine and roses today. I always get bitchy at the end of a trip for two reasons 1.) I'm tired. 2.) regardless of how tired I am, I don't want to go back to reality and the daily grind.

I maintained a pretty good attitude until we got to the airport and it really went downhill from there. Hopefully I didn't annoy the rest of the group too much. Sorry, y'all.

We finally got on the plane and I watched 3 movies on the flight home. Skyfall, Oz the Great and Powerful, and .....I don't remember the other one. I know I watched something else though.

The food was once again excellent. Well done, British Airways. We were not sitting in business class this time though, so eating it was a heck of a lot harder. Elbow wars with the people around you and whatnot. They served lunch, which was beef filet, potatoes, vegetables, and a delicious chocolate mousse. I was so enamoured by the chocolate mousse, I took a pic of the lid. I've got to find some of this stuff.



Later in the flight they served an adorable tea time snack box that I didn't take a picture of. But it looked like a picnic basket and it had a scone, clotted cream, jam, and a little sandwich. I am really into this whole afternoon tea thing. Loving it.

We fiiiiiiiinally landed and got off the plane. And got into the longest customs line ever.


Oy. I had to put my earbuds in and just tune out for a while so I didn't go left on anyone in line. We got to see the adorable contraband sniffing beagle, though. He was so cute.

That line took about an hour, then we got to claim our bags and made it outside. To the airport shuttle van. Of death. You'll see why I say that shortly.

Let's go back to the first day of this adventure. The first van we were in on the way to the airport was a total disaster. It popped into reverse without the driver in the seat while we were loading it up, the guy couldn't maintain a lane to save his life, and it was overall a not good, nerve-wracking experience. Pat called the company and complained and we thought that was that. What are the odds we will have problems again?

Turns out, the odds were pretty high. At least this guy was ok at staying between the lines, but the van still felt pretty...questionable. The check engine light was on and it was vibrating like crazy. We got onto 121, got into the Plano/Frisco area and there was a LOUD noise that sounded like the undercarriage was coming apart. We looked out the back window and saw the entire rubber tread of the rear passenger tire FLYING out from behind us on the road.

The idiot driver then proceeded to try to pull over on the left shoulder of the highway. We all said a collective "hell no" and got him to pull off to the service road. He pulled to a stop in the right lane of the service road, turns around and looks at Brian and asks him to jump out and look at the tire. And that is when I lost it.

I made it pretty clear that no one was getting out of the car on the side of the road unless we had no other choice and since it seemed like the tire wasn't completely blown, we needed to get to a parking lot where we could safely assess the situation.

But the driver was an idiot, so he decided he would start to try to get BACK ONTO THE HIGHWAY because he somehow got it in his brain that he wanted to get us to Allen where his spare tire was. Uh. No. We all yelled at him to get his dumb ass away from the highway and just stay on the access road until we got to a parking lot.

The first one we came to was near Blue Mesa at 121 and DNT.
He pulled to a stop in front of Tiff's Treats and we all immediately BAILED OUT with our hand luggage. This is what the tire looked like.






I had already made up my mind at that point that none of us were getting back into any of their crappy vans. So I made a phone call to our wonderful neighbors, Erica and Josh, who have an Acadia that would hold all 5 of us and our luggage. Josh agreed to come get us, thank God. He was just getting home from work and pulled their car seat out and everything. And that is why, henceforth, he shall be called "St. Joshua, Patron Saint of Stranded Travelers."

As I walked back up to the group, the driver started trying to convince us that another van was coming and we should wait for it. We all told him there was no way we were doing that and that we wanted to get our luggage out. He started trying to stall, so I flat out asked him if the van was unlocked and when he said yes, I hauled the doors right open and me and Jeff got all our stuff out.

When he tried to say the situation wasn't his fault, Jeff and I proceeded to educate him on his deficiencies in basic safety and vehicle maintenance. Of course, he was too stupid to absorb anything and just tried to deny any kind of responsibility. I cut him off, and said we were DONE discussing it with him. Before he left, however, he made Jeff talk to his dispatcher to verify that we were declining to be transported the rest of the way home.

So there we were, sitting outside of Tiff's Treats at 6:30pm, barely undercover from the rain with all our luggage. Might as well have some cookies while we're waiting, right? So I bought a dozen cookies and a water for everyone.



St. Joshua Patron Saint of Stranded Travelers got there as fast as he could and got us back to Pat and Jeff's safe and sound.

And so ended our great adventure. We are happy to see the dogs and sleep in our own bed. It was a wonderful trip, we saw a ton of stuff, met some lovely people, and made lots of great memories. Hope you enjoyed reading about our adventure.

Nec Sorte, Nec Fato.
Neither by chance, nor fate.

The List For Next Time

5/28/2013

So it's our last day in London. Sucks.

The day started out just beautifully with...aw, what the hell is this? Rain?!?!

Hmph. Well. So much for going for a ride in the Eye. We knew there was a chance it would rain, actually, so The Rutherford and I had tried to do The Eye yesterday, but we got there waaaaay before it opened and decided to do something else instead. I guess we'll put that one on the List For Next Time.

Next on the agenda for the day; a great big nothing fight! Yup. Oh well, that was really just the second one of the trip. Not too bad.

So the fambly decided to go check out Harrod's together. I had forgotten to pick up a keychain the day before, so I was totally fine with going back. This time, we ended up in the jewelry department. I found an absolutely adorable necklace with a little pistol pendant that had a sparkly green wing coming off of it.

It was £1400.

Jeez. Ok Harrod's, I got the message. Go back to shopping at Ross. Whatevs.

Since they don't charge to look, Pat and I split up from the guys and did girl browsing. It was super fun, they had amazing dresses and lingerie and everything women love. We kind of went over our time limit, and by the time we got back to the guys they were super ready to go.

I started recapping how the afternoon went, but I decided I want to repress most of the memories of the last part of the day. The rain made for a mood challenging day, especially since the Underground was super packed with people.

The highlight if the day was having tea with Pat. She booked tea in a beautiful hotel, it was delicious, and a nice respite from all the rain and wet that day. If the weather is like this most of the time, I understand why the Brits are so big on tea.






After tea, we went to meet up with the guys to go to the Tower of London and see the Crown Jewels. It was about 3:30 on a Tuesday, mind you. We get in there and the line to see the good stuff is a MILLION MILES LONG. Which sucked because it was one of Pat's "must-do's" and I felt bad that she didn't get to do it.

But we did go through the White Tower, which had armor and weapons, so you know there was a certain someone in our group who was very happy.






The antique arms were cool, but this was my favorite:



After we got through the white tower, we were all pretty tired. I decided to sit out the Torture/Dungeon exhibit and took this pic of the London Bridge instead


After getting back to the hotel, Brian and I decided we needed a little whiskey tea party before dinner. So we made a plate of shortbread and gathered up the tea things and crashed Pat and Jeff's room to have our little party. Everyone was tired, so rather than go out again, we ordered pizza and had dinner in the room. I don't think Pappa had any whiskey tea, which is a shame because it was surprisingly good and warmed you right up after a day in the rain.

We all went back to our rooms to figure out how the heck we were going to get everything back into our bags. Flying out tomorrow. Not ready to get back to reality.

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Stonehenge

5/27/2013 afternoon

We booked the Stonehenge excursion through a bus tour because they are pretty much the only ones who get passes for the inner circle special access. We were very glad we did because we ended up with an excellent tour guide named Pat Shelley. If you ever want a very informative guided tour of Stonehenge or any of the local barrows or henges, Google this guy and book one with him.

The first stop was at Avebury, which has one of the largest (by area coverage) stone circles in the world. Apparently lots of the stones got pulled down through the years, but they dug up and reerected the ones they could find. It was very beautiful and picturesque in the country. There are canola fields all over the place which bloom yellow and were just gorgeous.





Funny side note: it hadn't been all that cold in London the day before, so I up and left without a coat. Huge mistake. It was SUPER windy and cold, and I was a Popsicle.

After Avebury we went to the West Kennet Longbarrow. It was a huge mound they made into kind of a crypt and used for burials. The creepy part is that the guide said they may have de-fleshed the bodies so that they would stack more compactly. Ugh.



Inside the barrow.


Then it was finally time to go to Stonehenge. We got there about 20 minutes before they closed for the day and had to wait for them to clear out all the people before we could go in. While we were waiting, we went into the gift shop and I very quickly decided that a sweatshirt would be the perfect souvenir (Popsicle, remember?).

So worth it. I took a gazillion pictures, but these are a few of my faves. It was cloudy so I need to work on the colors.


Aw. Look at how cute we are.

Peekaboo!

It was so amazing to get right up close to this stone circle that had been here for thousands of years.

At both Avebury and Stonehenge, the guide showed us where to use rods to detect the ley lines that are supposed to run through the circles. I don't know how it works, but I did it, the rods crossed and it. Was. Freaky. Gonna need to do some research on that one.

Another side note, so that in a few years I can remember: we picked up our guide in a town called Marlborough. It was an adorable town and I would love to stay there sometime.

After Stonehenge, it was back to the hotel and off to bed. Tired, but very very happy.

Hyde Park and Harrod's

Morning of 5/27/2013

Today The Rutherford and I went to Stonehenge. But first, we had a free morning to walk around London. So, we went to Hyde Park and Harrod's.

To get there, we rode the underground. I loved it. The Dart doesn't even compare to the efficiency and coverage that the Underground has. A-mazing.

I got a lovely picture this morning on the way to the tube.


This was at Hyde Park. There were horses all over the place in there, it was very cool.

Clydesdales!!!!!


This little guy started sneaking up behind us hoping for some food. The squirrels in the park are all verrrrrrry friendly. They practically ran up our legs.


Of course, Brian found some water fowel to take pictures of.

Then we went to Harrods and pretty much spent the entire time in the Petworld section.
Going to do a separate post for Stonehenge, since it is pretty picture heavy.


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Hello, London!

This morning we had a bus tour through the city. We hit up a lot of points of interest and since it was a Sunday, traffic was lighter and we got to see more than normal. At least according to the tour guide.

Unfortunately I only remember a few of the things we saw.

1. The neighborhood in which Sean Connery lives
2. Westminster Abbey
3. Buckingham Palace
4. Parliament
5. The Eye
6. Some monument that Queen Victoria had erected in honor of Albert

#6

#2

#3


We were supposed to see the changing of the guard at Buckingham, but there was some kind of stupid race going on that stopped them from doing their normal thing.

After the bus, we found a place to eat, then walked toward the Eye. It was completely and ridiculously packed with people, but there were street performers and music, and it was cool, even though it meant we didn't get to ride it So we just walked around a little bit before deciding we didn't want to wait and left to see the Horse Guard. We did get to see them switch out the two on duty horses. They were very pretty, very, very well behaved horses.


Then we walked around St. James Garden. There were alot of water birds, including the most enormous pelicans we had ever seen. Their legs were like 1" thick. We also saw a crazy bird man with pigeons all over his arms.


We went by Downing Street to try to see No. 10. There it is, from the other side of the gates.


We went looking for a pub to rest our feet and ended up just down from the hotel at the Sherlock Holmes pub. Cute little place.

After a restorative cider, Jeff decided he would go back to the hotel, and Brian, Pat and I decided to make our way to Covent Garden. We made it up there all right, however, Brian was apparently under the impression that it was an actual garden, even though the tour guide very clearly said it was a shopping place.

Brian was a good sport, though and walked around anyways. After that, we decided to try to find an actual garden or park. On the way to find a tube to get to Hyde Park, we ended up finding a cute little garden with a whole bunch of sling chairs.



We went back to the hotel to freshen up for dinner, and then went to an Indian food restaurant to try the Chicken Tikka. On the way to the restaurant we saw a cool street performer who was playing a euphonium with fire coming out of it.

Here is what the restraint looked like.

And here is my food!

It was at least as good as Masala Wok. This place was called Masala Zone and they called the Chicken Tikka Masala "Butter Chicken." Which was confusing, but still delicious.

After that it was off to bed. Tomorrow me and B are going on a Special Access Stonehenge tour which we are super excited about.

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Location:London

First night in London

Today we bid farewell to Scotland. :-(

On to London on the train, via Edinburgh. Pat and Jeff had very generously bought us all first class bookings, so we had tea, coffee, and nice roomy seats on our way. Poor Jeff took one for the team and got the odd seat one grouping over. With a family. With a toddler.

See the couple seated across from us? They killed a whole bottle of wine and a few other drinks on the train from Edinburgh to London. Like a boss.

When we got to London, we took a cab to the hotel. It was a cozy ride.

We noticed as we neared the hotel, that there were an AWFUL lot of people around. Apparently it was a double doozy of a holiday weekend and London hosting the finals in one of the soccer leagues. So there are soccer hooligans and holidayers spending the weekend in the city. It was really kind of cool to hear them singing and chanting for their teams and see everyone on their colors.

Anyways, the hotel. It's the Citadines Trafalgar Square and it is pretty cool. Makes very good use of a small space so it feels large and has clean finishes. It even has a little kitchenette.

First thing I did? Laundry. Boo. Brian was out of clean underwear. But he helped squeeze it all out, so it was really a team effort.

After we had a few minutes to freshen up, we met up with the rest downstairs and went in search of a pub that wouldn't be overrun with soccer fans. We found this:



It was actually fairly big inside, and it didn't have TVs, so when the game started the soccer people cleared out. We had a couple drinks and dinner.


We also saw a guy with a bra on that had money sticking out. He was with a whole group of people that were dressed up as Monopoly characters, so Pat and I decided to contribute a couple American dollars to his fund. Turns out it was his birthday.


So after that we walked over to Trafalgar Square. The panorama below really doesn't do it justice.


And then it was back to the hotel. Super tired. Tomorrow is a bus tour in the morning and then a free afternoon!

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Location:London